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As the heat rises, get lower. If you’re in a multi-storey dwelling, head downstairs. If you can't do that, keep as low as you can. Under a tree, or in a swimming pool.
GO SHOPPING
A general rule of thumb: The bigger the shopping centre, the more kick-arse its air-conditioning. If you're on a tight budget, browse. Just be careful about parking fees.
SPICE IT UP
Opinions are divided on the efficacy of this, but many swear by a hot curry on a stinking day. The theory is that the internal heat makes you sweat, which in turn cools you down. A cool drink helps, too.
KEEP CHILLED
It’s amazing what a difference a chilled glass of water can do, so keep a jug of H2O in the fridge. Another idea is to fill up a squirting bottle and keep it in the fridge as well, so you can give yourself a cooling mist when needs-be.
IMPROVISE AIR CON
No Daikin hanging off the wall? Don’t panic. Grab a pedestal fan, set up a bowl of ice or wet tea towel in front of it and turn it on. Presto! Air-con.
EVERY DEGREE COUNTS
Turn off incandescent lightbulbs (if you still have them) and powerful appliances (except the refrigerator, obviously) which produce ambient heat. And don’t even think of using the oven.
POOL YOUR RESOURCES
Who said wading pools were only for kids? Revisit the summers of your youth by setting one up in the backyard - and give it the full adult twist by having a chilled drink on hand.
COOL IN THE NIGHT
Dreading a long night in the heat? Try chilling your pillowcase in the fridge (in a freezer bag so it stays dry). You also can dampen a T-shirt you sleep in or a washcloth for your forehead before heading to bed.
EXTREME MEASURES
Some parts of our bodies get hotter than others. Running your wrists under cold water can help cool you down. Others swear by going to bed in damp socks. (ew)
CHILL PILLS
Some medications can exacerbate the discomfort caused by heat - particularly for the elderly. Consult your doctor about alternatives.
TASMANIA
Perfect one day, a balmy 20 degrees the next. Is a mini-break really out of the question? (Note: If Tassie’s also stinking, try Finland.)
THIS ARTICLE COMED FROM ONE OF THE MANY DIGITAL NEWS PAPERS I SUBSCRIDE TO
CAT JOKE FROM ONE OF THE MANY DIGITAL NEWSPAPERS I SUBSCRIBE TO
09:02 Jan 12 2019 Times Read: 1,157
A GERMAN SHEPARD DOBERMAND AND A CAT HVE DIED. AL;L THREE ARE FACING GOD,WHO WANTS TO KNOW WHAT THE BELIEVE IN? THE GERMAN SHEPARD SAYS, I BELIEVE IN DISCIPLINE TRAINING AND LOYALTY TO MY MASTER. GOOD SAYS GOD,
THE SIT DOWN BY RIGHT SIDE, DOBERMAN QHAT DO YOU BELIEVE IN? THE DOBERMAN SAYS,I BELIEVE IN THE LOVE CARE AND PROTECTION OF MY MASTER. AH YES, SAYS GOD YOU MAY SIT TO MY LEFT. THEN HE LOOOKS AT THE3 CAT ANDC ASKS WHAT DO YOU BELIEVE IN?THE CAT ANSWERS,I BELIEVE YOU ARE SITTING IN MY CHAIR.
I DIDNT WRITE TIHS THIS CAME DIRECTLY FROM THE MAYO CLINIC WEBSITE.
Overview
A pneumothorax (noo-moe-THOR-aks) is a collapsed lung. A pneumothorax occurs when air leaks into the space between your lung and chest wall. This air pushes on the outside of your lung and makes it collapse. In most cases, only a portion of the lung collapses.
A pneumothorax can be caused by a blunt or penetrating chest injury, certain medical procedures, or damage from underlying lung disease. Or it may occur for no obvious reason. Symptoms usually include sudden chest pain and shortness of breath. On some occasions, a collapsed lung can be a life-threatening event.
Symptoms
The main symptoms of a pneumothorax are sudden chest pain and shortness of breath. But these symptoms can be caused by a variety of health problems, and some can be life-threatening. If your chest pain is severe or breathing becomes increasingly difficult, get immediate emergency care.
Causes
A pneumothorax can be caused by:
Chest injury. Any blunt or penetrating injury to your chest can cause lung collapse. Some injuries may happen during physical assaults or car crashes, while others may inadvertently occur during medical procedures that involve the insertion of a needle into the chest.
Lung disease. Damaged lung tissue is more likely to collapse. Lung damage can be caused by many types of underlying diseases, including chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD), cystic fibrosis and pneumonia.
Ruptured air blisters. Small air blisters (blebs) can develop on the top of your lung. These blebs sometimes burst — allowing air to leak into the space that surrounds the lungs.
Mechanical ventilation. A severe type of pneumothorax can occur in people who need mechanical assistance to breathe. The ventilator can create an imbalance of air pressure within the chest. The lung may collapse completely.
Risk factors
Risk factors for a pneumothorax include:
Your sex. In general, men are far more likely to have a pneumothorax than are women.
Smoking. The risk increases with the length of time and the number of cigarettes smoked, even without emphysema.
Age. The type of pneumothorax caused by ruptured air blisters is most likely to occur in people between 20 and 40 years old, especially if the person is a very tall and underweight.
Genetics. Certain types of pneumothorax appear to run in families.
Lung disease. Having an underlying lung disease — especially chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD) — makes a collapsed lung more likely.
Mechanical ventilation. People who need mechanical ventilation to assist their breathing are at higher risk of pneumothorax.
Previous pneumothorax. Anyone who has had one pneumothorax is at increased risk of another, usually within one to two years of the first.
Complications
Many people who have had one pneumothorax can have another, usually within one to two years of the first. Air may sometimes continue to leak if the opening in the lung won't close. Surgery may eventually be needed to close the air leak.
Diagnosis
A pneumothorax is generally diagnosed using a chest X-ray. In some cases, a computerized tomography (CT) scan may be needed to provide more-detailed images. CT scanners combine X-ray images taken from many different directions to produce cross-sectional views of internal structures.
Treatment
The goal in treating a pneumothorax is to relieve the pressure on your lung, allowing it to re-expand. Depending on the cause of the pneumothorax, a second goal may be to prevent recurrences. The methods for achieving these goals depend on the severity of the lung collapse and sometimes on your overall health.
Observation
If only a small portion of your lung is collapsed, your doctor may simply monitor your condition with a series of chest X-rays until the excess air is completely absorbed and your lung has re-expanded. Normally this takes a week or two. Supplemental oxygen may speed the absorption process.
Needle or chest tube insertion
If a larger area of your lung has collapsed, it's likely that a needle or chest tube will be used to remove the excess air.
The hollow needle or tube is inserted between the ribs into the air-filled space that is pressing on the collapsed lung. With the needle, a syringe is attached so that the doctor can pull out the excess air — just like a syringe is used to pull blood from a vein. A chest tube may be attached to a suction device that continuously removes air from the chest cavity.
Surgery
If a chest tube doesn't solve your problem, surgery may be necessary to close the air leak. In most cases, the surgery can be performed through small incisions, using a tiny fiber-optic camera and narrow, long-handled surgical tools. The surgeon will look for the leaking bleb and close it off.
In some cases, a substance may be used to irritate the tissues around the lung so that they'll stick together and seal any leaks. Rarely, the surgeon will have to make a larger incision between the ribs to get better access to multiple or larger air leaks.
OFFICE IDIOTS YOU WILL ENCOUNTER AT YOUR WORK THIS YEAR.
12:48 Jan 08 2019 Times Read: 1,171
The idiots you’ll encounter in your office this year
Mitchell Toy, Herald Sun
January 8, 2019 7:00am
Subscriber only
The working year has begun for countless commuting Victorians who now face the challenge of cohabiting an office with idiots for another year.
Here are ten people you are likely to battle and befriend in your office in 2019.
2019 MILESTONES TO MAKE YOU FEEL OLD
MELBOURNE’S SECRET SOCIETIES
RAIDER OF THE LOST LUNCH
The human capacity for evil can sometimes seem to have no upper limit.
Your avocado salad in put in the office fridge at 9.02am and by 12.38pm it’s been eaten by an anonymous monster.
Short of installing heat-sensing camera technology, you can only shape a clump of wasabi into an avocado slice, leave it in your lunch and identify the thief by waiting for somebody to call an ambulance.
The risky life of an office lunch thief.
COFFEE TWIN
You’ve already been back at work for a full 15 minutes when that welcome message pops up: “Coffee?”
You can always trust your coffee twin to play the game properly; meet you in the foyer in five minutes so the boss doesn’t know what’s going on.
Then it’s time to complain about your colleagues for 20 minutes over a chai latte while embodying the spirit of laziness you so harshly criticise.
SELF SECRETARY
Life is so hard to keep on top of.
There are invoices to pay, tradesmen to organise, dental appointments to make, home and contents insurance to buy, and so forth.
Any ordinary person needs a personal secretary to deal with all that guff.
Which is why this guy just does it all in the office during the day while he’s meant to be working.
And you will have to hear every infuriating phone call.
FORENSIC PATHOLOGIST
Who’s been sitting here over Christmas?
Why is there a crumb on the keyboard?
Somebody has touched the screen — wait until the residual sweat results back come back so the culprit can be caught.
Such is the lonely existence of the neat freak to whom everybody else is a constant source of filth and disappointment, and whose workspace looks like a coroner’s lab.
Who’s been sitting here over Christmas?
JESTER
Arrived back from the holidays to find your landline taped to the side of your monitor?
Oh, that’s just the jester exploring every meaning of the phrase “disproportionate response”.
Maybe you stole his hole punch in April.
Maybe you changed his desktop background to a lewd image three years ago.
This unhinged office prankster will remember every small indiscretion and will plan and wait for months like a sniper in the snow to see their twisted justice done.
GOSSIP ORACLE
Having worked here since the beginning of time, or at least since the premises was leased, this motherly sage’s glare penetrates any facade, peers into the soul and extracts secrets of the juiciest order.
Green symbols race down the flexing walls as the oracle recounts who went home with who after the Christmas party, who has made a written complaint about who, and who is getting made redundant but doesn’t know it yet.
Use this knowledge wisely and always be kind to the gossip oracle or she’ll turn off the tap.
If you desire to know who hooked up at the Christmas party, you must seek the gossip oracle.
WATCH THIS VIDEO DUDE
Hey dude watch this video.
It could be the busiest time of the busiest day on the calendar and this colleague is still finding time to not only scour YouTube for their own entertainment, but to email the fruits of their search to you with commentary.
Add in a bit of “So funny at 1.14” to really make it an appealing prospect.
And if you ignore the emails, you know what you’ll cop in the lift later.
“Did you watch that video I sent you?”
FIRE WARDEN
There was once a psychological study on the sinister character transformation of people role playing as prison officers.
That’s the kind of thing witnessed when the annual fire drill comes around and this person, usually hiding meekly behind a pile of reports, is given an ounce of power.
Before you know it, the hardhat’s on and they’re large and in charge.
Better get down that stairwell before you’re thrown down, bucko.
See you at Assembly Point A or there’ll be trouble.
Once that red hat’s on, the fire warden is not to be messed with.
SIMPSON’S DONKEY
In every pack there’s a worker who carries the weak.
Slogging away in their third year without a raise and tolerating meeting after meeting in which their solo efforts are unjustly cited as teamwork, it’s a wonder this soldier stays around at all.
In an average team of 15 about 80 per cent of the work is done by this one person.
A hundred per cent of the credit is usually claimed by the person who did nothing.
BULLDUST AGENT
This shameless spiv is a walking buzzword thesaurus and loves talking a big game to mask a lack of tangible achievement.
You know, if your big toe wasn’t out of alignment, your synergy would get you a much better SEO ranking — every time.
Take a look at this ebook on 15 ways to literally separate your soul from your body by making better PowerPoint presentations.
Putting up with this person’s garbage has a silver lining — once the bosses wise up to their bulldust, they’re usually forced out or sent to the Adelaide office pretty quickly.
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